The Truth Behind Lady Macbeth

I’ve been in a Shakespearean mode of late and I think it’s time I address the issue of the Tragedy of Macbeth or more rightly the Tragedy of Lady Macbeth.

Due to a simple typographical error between the original writing and the issuance of the first folio and no doubt some lost pages and a hasty throwing together of what pages were scattered on the floor we have a real tragedy.

The line we know from Macbeth is “Out damn’d spot.”

But I believe the real line should be thus “Out damn’d Spot” and on that simple miscapitalization hang the whole tawdry spectacle we now know as MacBeth the tragedy.

Ah me.

I believe the original probably went more like this:

“Out damn’d Spot.”

“How many times do I have to tell you dear not to curse at my dog?”

“Yeah, well, your cursed dog pee’d on the rug again.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really. And your buddy Banquo doesn’t seem to be able to come round and take the mutt for a walk – like he’s supposed to.”

“I’ll kill him.”

“Good idea, and while your at it do the king too.”

“Okay, anything else?”

“No that’s it for now.”

“By the way Hon, I don’t think it was Spot who pee’d on the rug but one of your two fur-sluggina cats: Flotsam and Rosencranz.”

“It’s Jetsom and Gildenstern, knucklehead. And don’t go blaming them for what your damned Spot did.”

“They’re friggin’ Persians and everyone knows you can’t trust the Iranians.”

“I told you leave the cats out of it.”