Tomato Wars Escalate, Conspiracies Abound
Dear Hank
Re:
The Tomato Wars Escalate, conspiracies abound. What we can learn from them.
July 24, 2006
I got back from the beach yesterday and took a look at my tomato plants this morning. There’s good news and bad news. First the good news – They’re alive! Now the bad, the two buckets of tomato plants were yellow from lack of water. The plastic buckets have big holes near the bottom that lets any water run right out. I’ll need to wrap them in foil so they can hold water. This will let the roots get too wet and rot. There’s just no winning when you’re not an optimist.
This brings us to today’s topic – conspiracy theories.
I’ve never been one to give much credence to most conspiracy theories but I’m seeing the value in them; it makes the world a much simpler place and you can dump a lot of garbage out of your brain if you’re willing to discount something as a conspiracy. I was looking at my tomato plants and I noticed I have one big Italian tomato coming and three little cocktail tomatoes that are red. I had had two before that were red and maybe even a few more before that but they disappeared. Who took them? Isn’t this grounds for a conspiracy? Or at least a conspiracy theory or speculation as to either or both? You bet it is. Why those tomatoes may have been eaten by those little commie chipmunks or the ants or the birds or TERRORISTS. There is just no telling who got them and that’s all the more reason to be suspicious and on your guard.
Or it could have been some of my envious tomato growing neighbors. They could have snuck over here in the dead of night (or the middle of the day) and stolen them.
Have to be ever vigilant.
You never know…
I gotta go.
Re:
The Tomato Wars Escalate, conspiracies abound. What we can learn from them.
July 24, 2006
I got back from the beach yesterday and took a look at my tomato plants this morning. There’s good news and bad news. First the good news – They’re alive! Now the bad, the two buckets of tomato plants were yellow from lack of water. The plastic buckets have big holes near the bottom that lets any water run right out. I’ll need to wrap them in foil so they can hold water. This will let the roots get too wet and rot. There’s just no winning when you’re not an optimist.
This brings us to today’s topic – conspiracy theories.
I’ve never been one to give much credence to most conspiracy theories but I’m seeing the value in them; it makes the world a much simpler place and you can dump a lot of garbage out of your brain if you’re willing to discount something as a conspiracy. I was looking at my tomato plants and I noticed I have one big Italian tomato coming and three little cocktail tomatoes that are red. I had had two before that were red and maybe even a few more before that but they disappeared. Who took them? Isn’t this grounds for a conspiracy? Or at least a conspiracy theory or speculation as to either or both? You bet it is. Why those tomatoes may have been eaten by those little commie chipmunks or the ants or the birds or TERRORISTS. There is just no telling who got them and that’s all the more reason to be suspicious and on your guard.
Or it could have been some of my envious tomato growing neighbors. They could have snuck over here in the dead of night (or the middle of the day) and stolen them.
Have to be ever vigilant.
You never know…
I gotta go.
posted by Rick Kinnaird at 5:01 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home