Shows I'd like to see
Dear Hank,
As you know I’m a big proponent of more real violence on TV. I’m tired of these namby pamby violent shows. I want the real thing. In the past I’ve suggested having a real psycho path as a contestant in any of the “elimination” shows. Imagine the headline “Who will survive?” - takes on a whole new meaning.
But now I’ve hit on another splendid idea. But before I go there let me follow up on an earlier post about entertainment, the one about Kim Kardasian marrying the fat kid now running North Korea, Kim Jung-Un. If we play our cards right I think we could get a slew of programs done over there. How? It’s easy. Tell the execs that the labor costs are zero or near zero and that you don’t have to feed people on the set that will cut expenses drastically. And then we could get Congress to give tax breaks to anyone producing a show over there. Hopefully, all the reality shows would go: Survivor, Fear Factor, and The Real House Wives of anywhere and everywhere. I’d also push for a “Real House Wives of Pyongyang.” That could be fun.*
But this is all old stuff. Now on to my new idea. You know on many of these “elimination” shows where they get rid of someone every week they have a really pretty woman tell the contestant that they’re sorry but whatever they were doing “just didn’t work for them” so “please pack your crap and get the fuck out.” All this said with a sympathetic look in the sexy woman’s face. Then there’s a retrospective shot as the person cries, bucks up and leaves through the swinging door.
I think the leaving should be changed a little. I think the sexy woman should come out dressed in dominatrix leathers and she should tell the startled contestant that they fucked up and now they’re going to be whipped. Maybe, there are three contestants on the potential chopping block and the they grab the poor slob, along with the remaining contestants (???) (or those already kicked off and whipped) and they hold the person down while Miss. Sexy whips the loser. It would be great if they said irrational spiteful things to the person as they held them down. Maybe, throw in a few Police like “occupy” kicks to the body. Then imagine the after interview with the person sitting there with a black eye, bandaged, maybe having an arm in a sling crying, “I didn’t think my muffins were that dry. They should have taken Tamika her aioli had way too much salt!” sniff.
Ah well, they don’t ask me. All I can do is suggest.
B
Here’s the fascinating strategy of all this. Imagine if XYZ announced they were going to North Korea and RST did too then maybe the rest of the lemmings would follow. XYZ could pull out and not tell anyone, leaving the rest over there. I think a few dropped hints of there being “spies” in the group would be enough to insure that we’d never have to worry about seeing any of those shows again. Talk about eliminating the competition.
As you know I’m a big proponent of more real violence on TV. I’m tired of these namby pamby violent shows. I want the real thing. In the past I’ve suggested having a real psycho path as a contestant in any of the “elimination” shows. Imagine the headline “Who will survive?” - takes on a whole new meaning.
But now I’ve hit on another splendid idea. But before I go there let me follow up on an earlier post about entertainment, the one about Kim Kardasian marrying the fat kid now running North Korea, Kim Jung-Un. If we play our cards right I think we could get a slew of programs done over there. How? It’s easy. Tell the execs that the labor costs are zero or near zero and that you don’t have to feed people on the set that will cut expenses drastically. And then we could get Congress to give tax breaks to anyone producing a show over there. Hopefully, all the reality shows would go: Survivor, Fear Factor, and The Real House Wives of anywhere and everywhere. I’d also push for a “Real House Wives of Pyongyang.” That could be fun.*
But this is all old stuff. Now on to my new idea. You know on many of these “elimination” shows where they get rid of someone every week they have a really pretty woman tell the contestant that they’re sorry but whatever they were doing “just didn’t work for them” so “please pack your crap and get the fuck out.” All this said with a sympathetic look in the sexy woman’s face. Then there’s a retrospective shot as the person cries, bucks up and leaves through the swinging door.
I think the leaving should be changed a little. I think the sexy woman should come out dressed in dominatrix leathers and she should tell the startled contestant that they fucked up and now they’re going to be whipped. Maybe, there are three contestants on the potential chopping block and the they grab the poor slob, along with the remaining contestants (???) (or those already kicked off and whipped) and they hold the person down while Miss. Sexy whips the loser. It would be great if they said irrational spiteful things to the person as they held them down. Maybe, throw in a few Police like “occupy” kicks to the body. Then imagine the after interview with the person sitting there with a black eye, bandaged, maybe having an arm in a sling crying, “I didn’t think my muffins were that dry. They should have taken Tamika her aioli had way too much salt!” sniff.
Ah well, they don’t ask me. All I can do is suggest.
B
Here’s the fascinating strategy of all this. Imagine if XYZ announced they were going to North Korea and RST did too then maybe the rest of the lemmings would follow. XYZ could pull out and not tell anyone, leaving the rest over there. I think a few dropped hints of there being “spies” in the group would be enough to insure that we’d never have to worry about seeing any of those shows again. Talk about eliminating the competition.
posted by Rick Kinnaird at 7:52 AM
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